Don’t Take Anything Personally

Lack of self-confidence is the primary reason people become excessively concerned about what others think. This, of course, leads to people adjusting their behavior to appease what they assume others want. As a result, this leads people to not be true to themselves which seriously inhibits the achievement of their goals. Everyone operates from their own perception of reality, and the ONLY person any of us have any real control over is ourselves. What other people do or say has nothing to do with YOU, it’s their reality and you have no control over it. What you DO in reaction to what others do, think, say, or feel, however is ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE and therefore under your control. In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says that nothing other people do is because of YOU, it is a projection of their perception of reality (or what he refers to as “their dreams”).

Dr. Sheila Foreman uses the term “self-fullness” for when you abide by your core values. “Self-fullness” means that you learn to love, honor, and respect yourself and learn how to become your best YOU. You also learn not to care what others think of you. To paraphrase Don Miguel Ruiz: you become immune to the opinions and actions of others, and therefore, need not be the victim of needless suffering. This is hugely important because the most empowered (and successful) people on the planet, are the ones who learn not to care what others think of them. They focus instead on making sure THEY like who they are, and live according to THEIR core values, and as the result, they get what they want and attract like minded people. Yes, the law of attraction is real, and it does work, so concentrate on living in “self-fullness” and you’ll be just fine in every way.

Your core values are the qualities in your life that you must have in order to feel right and balanced. These are the non-tradeoff items. We all have core values for the important aspects of life like relationships (platonic and intimate), career, hobbies, etc. and knowing what your core values are is hugely important in living in balance and energetic alignment.

In my experience, one of the top reasons people struggle to succeed, is that they have an unreasonable need to be accepted and they constantly worry about what others think. I had this problem early in my sales career, and I was fortunate enough to work for a couple of hard-core business men. They were multi-millionaires and they didn’t care one bit what anyone thought of them, while I was broke and constantly worrying what everyone thought of me. I finally thought to myself: “they’re rich and I’m broke. They don’t care what people think, and I do. There is something wrong with this picture!” So I started working on not caring what people thought of me, and my career began to take off. It gave me the courage to start my own business regardless of what anyone thought. There were many people in my life who told me that I was crazy to start my own business because I had a “good job.” Learning not to worry what they thought of me was one of the single most important things that led to my success. I also realized that I didn’t have to be a jerk to do this, I could still be a decent person while not worrying about what they thought of me. I read a book What You Think of Me is None of My Business by T. Cole-Whittaker which was a big help in this process. My wish for you is that you arrive at this same conclusion. It will become one of the best things you’ll ever do.

Cheers,

Hector

You can purchase the books that Hector recommends in this post by clicking on the Amazon links below:

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